- as I recover, this time I will be allowed to just get better and better, rather than having the sledgehammer hanging over me, ready to strike again
- I can stop worrying about what I eat - sushi and soft cheese are back on the menu!
- I don't have to be paranoid about infections anymore
- food may actually start to taste normal
- my hair can grow back (although in some ways I might miss my bald head, it's comforting to stroke especially now that there's a little bit of hair there, and is very easy maintenance)
- I might soon be able to enjoy a glass of wine
- I can make plans without thinking about how many days post chemo it will be and consequently what variation of shit I will be feeling
- I can throw out all the medication that I have been relying on to manage those evil chemo side effects
(I realise I've possibly overused the word happy in the last few paragraphs. But that is after all what this post is all about. So I think I won't worry about it.)
Seeing some hair growing back on my head is very exciting. My eyebrows and eyelashes seem to keep disappearing sadly but luckily I started off with thick eyebrows so they're taking a long time to disappear altogether. So the moral of this story is, don't pluck your eyebrows, you never know when you might need those extra few hairs! Losing these has been far more distressing than losing my head hair. A face seems to lose all definition without them. I've never been one for wearing make up but at the moment, I can't walk out the door without applying eyeliner and mascara first.
Look closely, you will see some hair there somewhere
Radiotherapy starts in a few weeks. I went for a CT scan last week so they could line everything up to know where to direct the beam. I've been given three little tattoos, one in the middle and two either side of my chest which I guess will be used as markers for something or other. These look like little blackheads, nice.
Herceptin continues of course, so its back to the chemo ward next Wednesday for number 4 of 18 and then the following day, Will and I will be off for 3 days of sunshine in Lanzarote. Hurrah! Best get myself a sunhat.